#360: The Sweet Spot- Where you Maintain Your Physique But Get to ENJOY Life!

Hello, my friends, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here and tuning in with me today, I hope you are having a great day so far. And I hope it’s even better at the end of this conversation, it’s always my goal to hopefully leave you, you know, happier or more seen or whatever, then when you first came to it, and hope you just feel like we’re chatting, because we truly are just sitting here on a birth ball. I just happen to be talking into a microphone.

So today we’re gonna talk about the sweet spot. And that is what I call the place where you are enjoying your life. But you also feel at peace and comfortable with your body in its shape, its weight, and all of that good stuff. Now, I know this is very much more easily said than done. So I’m going to say start right away with saying, I know we all come to the table, most of us put some kind of baggage around. A lot of times, you know, health and fitness and dieting and exercise and feelings with our bodies. You know, maybe as a team, like you felt like you were overweight, and you always wanted to be losing weight, or you didn’t struggle as a teen and you’re athletic and you’re comfortable in your body. But now, a couple kids in you don’t feel like yourself or whatever. Like we all have different perspectives, opinions, experiences, all of that. And it fluctuates so much. I mean, that is truly the nature of the game as women, how much we fluctuate if we’re having babies, and things like that going through hormonal changes, all that good stuff. So this is truly more of like a girlfriend’s chat today where I just want to encourage you to find and figure out what your sweet spot is, because something I’ve found in the last over a decade of working with women is, a lot of times it’s hard to find where the kind that quote unquote finish line should be. And what I mean is somebody say needs or wants to lose 20 pounds, or just a couple say 5% body fat, okay, they’re able to take their body fat, because I do like to go more by body fat than by weight. All right, so say they want to lose 5% body fat, and they have, and they’ve worked hard, and they did all these, you know, instilled all these healthy habits to get there. They’re maintaining these healthy habits. However, they feel like they have to like go to the next level then physically, like, well, I should still be in fat loss mode, or what’s the next thing like should I cut this now they’re just or are they are physically in good shape. And fitting in a healthy size clothes, like all the things are at a healthy body fat, but they feel like it’s not enough and feel like they want to be thinner and things like that. Now, I’m not talking I’m gonna get into things like body dysmorphia today, which is a very real thing. And I’ve worked with people who I’ve told like lovingly, like, I think you might have an issue of seeing yourself as you actually are, which you know, is kind of a really simple definition, body dysmorphia, but kind of like a disordered view of yourself of like, I don’t think you’re seeing what’s actually there. Because I think a lot of times, we can get caught up in this chasing the carrot of reaching a goal and changing our bodies. Whenever we don’t even realize that we are there, we kind of don’t know when enough is enough. So if you’re that person, and I’m talking to that person today, my absolute wish for you and goal for you would to be able would be to be able to know like this is where I kind of draw the line like this is where I’m happy to maintain and it does not mean that you cannot keep progressing. In your fitness in your fitness level, you could still get stronger, faster, like there’s so many performance things you can do. I kind of went through this after my first child were where I remember like getting back down to pretty much almost before where it was before I got married, which just by lowest I had been. And my experience with that was like I struggled to get the last little quote unquote bit off before a year when he was still breastfeeding when I stopped breastfeeding and got back to just normal life without breastfeeding and that’s when I dropped the last couple percent body fat. That was when I was like okay, I could try to really get back to you know, or even like be to where I was pre wedding which was 18% body fat, which is lowest I’d personally been. But that’s going to mean I’m a little more restrictive. With my nutrition that’s going to mean I’m going to you know maybe cut out all alcohol except for one drink on the weekends with my husband but like one or you know, an actual like, five out three ounces whatever serving is a wine and I’m not just saying alcohol but like treats like means I’m going to be saying no to most treats rather than like yes to some. And there was just things that that. I was like, You know what I actually feel like I look fine at this point. And I’m going to focus more on getting into bodyweight exercises. This is when I realized, like, Hey, you should be able to do bodyweight dips, you should be able to do some bodyweight pull ups and chin ups. Like those are things you’ve never really trained or pursued or whatever. And I put my energy and focus in there. So I was progressing. It wasn’t, it’s not being like, okay, good, this is as good as I’m gonna get and fitness or whatever. But to get into something maybe a little more skill specific, or try something different. Like if you’ve never, you know, this is when I start looking at then usually like, something to compete, and I know not everybody’s competitive. And things have crossed my mind before, like, oh, maybe I’ll do triathlon. Next that one very quickly, because I’m a terrible swimmer. But then like the race, okay, I just kind of want to see if I can run 50 miles, let’s run 50 miles, like different things, it can be whatever it is for you, it doesn’t have to be this whole new arena in fitness. It’s also perfectly fine to just realize, like, I like the workouts I’m doing. I like everything how it is, I’m just going to maintain it here. But it’s realizing you have reached your destination, and being able to enjoy that. And truly enjoy that without the guilt and shame of like, I shouldn’t be eating this, or I shouldn’t be doing this, like knowing enough’s enough. And I think it’s really important. This is something I think about when I’m 80 years old, am I gonna look back and be like, Wow, I wish I’d been 2% less body fat. Like, no, if I fit in the clothes that I wanted to wear comfortably. I had energy to keep up with my kids. I felt like attractive and energetic for my husband those kinds of things, then I really don’t think a 2% fluctuation is gonna matter to me. And I think if I was eight years old looking back, and it was a matter of being 20%, or 22%, body fat. And at 22%, I was having like more treats with my kids like popcorn movie nights with Christmas movies and hot chocolate or whatever, or like sneaking cookies, while they’re in the bath. Like with them, like funny things, you know, like those kind of memories of mom or having a fun cocktail with my husband watching a Christmas movie, like that kind of stuff. versus me skipping those things to be 2% less body fat. I do not think my eight year old self would approve of that. I think eight year old Brittany, I already kind of immediate years old, like most of my hobbies are old lady things like knitting and stuff.
So, you know, I can pretty clearly say, I know I was a big girl, you should have seen the cookie like shut up. Like you looked fine. Also, you know that feeling? I know, again, we’re all different places. But this is a common thing with a mentee that we look back at a picture that we you know, say we’re in five years ago, and we’re like, wow, I actually didn’t look that bad. And I thought that I was like, you know, in a really bad spot. They’re not always sometimes I know, it works the other way where we’re like, wow, we see a picture and it calls us to action. And they’re like, well, we need to do something, whatever. But you know, it’s usually we’re a little bit less harsh on ourselves, in hindsight than we are in the moment. Now, that is the person that kind of needs to get pump the brakes, realize you’re at your destination, and stop trying to seek like a quote unquote, perfection that really is not gonna exist this side of heaven. But then there are people too, who are not that close to their goals yet. So what does that mean for them? Like, do they need to just grind it out grind junk, or and until they get to the goals? No, I think in general, the whole process that I promote for fat loss, eating 80%, whole thing, foods, 20% treats, and you’re allowed to incorporate those treats right into your daily calories, your daily macros, that in and of itself, I think and hope promotes you living in that sweet spot, even while you’re pursuing fat loss. Even while you’re not at your ideal goal weight, I do not want you to be I want you to do the same thing. I want you to still be able to enjoy cookies with your kids, a cocktail with your husband, these kinds of things. If you want to do that, while you’re actually losing fat. That’s the really great part about how our process works and why I do it the way I do it. So I think that’s there for everybody. It’s just I think more of a mental challenge when you know, you’re not where you want to be physically. But try not to beat yourself up about that mentally. And try not to let it affect other areas of your life. So for me, this always happened a couple months postpartum. When I’m like about three months postpartum. I always had this conversation with my husband, where I’m like, Okay, I know, it’s only been a couple months. In the beginning. I’m all happy to not rush it. And I’m like, but I want to feel back to myself. I want to fit in my genes again. But I know I can’t rush it physically. I’m breastfeeding. So I can’t do anything drastic, you know, nutrition wise. Like I’m just lamenting the fact that I still feel, you know, like five months pregnant. Sometimes it’s how you feel Three months postpartum, you know. And I think that’s just more mental and like character challenge of realizing this is not always going to be how it is. Some things also just take time, it’s not just you’re like, in that scenario, I don’t need to be putting in any more effort. I don’t need to be probably looking at my nutrition anymore. I just need more time away from delivery and childbirth and whatnot. And it amplifies with each subsequent kid, you can see that, you know, we’re take somebody, literally, physically, your uterus to shrink back down after your eighth baby than your second like, this is the way it goes. So learning to be okay with that living life. telling ourselves it’s okay. And it’s a season is difficult in the moment, but it’s a it’s a, you know, it’s a freeing spot. But overall, I’m not going to draw this out forever. Because I think you guys get the idea. I want you does your homework, to think about what that sweet spot looks like for you. Especially again, if you are a person who has been at this a while and thinks you’re pretty close to what you would consider your goal. I think it’s very common for women to just automatically say they need to lose weight, and I don’t just think it I know it. I’ve seen it in surveys, where they’ve surveyed you know, Roomful, women or whatever. And given the options of like, do you think you need to lose 10 pounds, lose more than 10 pounds? Like you think you’re at a good weight? Or do you think you need like gain weight, and almost always the biggest category in studies that I have seen. And surveys that I have seen has been that women respond right around the classic like, I could stand to lose 10 pounds. And I think it’s just almost like a fallback like, just because we assume we could probably be in a better spot that we are. And I think that probably applies to other places in life where we’re like, ah, yeah, I could be like a little bit better financially. I could be like, giving a little bit more in the mother department, motherhood department or like, with my husband or whatever, I think we just sometimes don’t accept when we are doing well on an area and think like, No, I’m actually good where I am. So I just encourage you to kind of assess, think about that for yourself. Like, where do I really feel like I am? when is enough enough? And can I like, jam out here. Now, this is my favorite thing. In working with clients. There’s a wonderful client friend who I know is probably listening to this episode, who will send me you know who you are. Because you’ll send me periodic email updates, we will tell each other things to update and she has shared before like, Oh, my goodness, this was such a great holiday season because I actually had Christmas cookies and my kids. And I didn’t feel guilt and shame after. And I still did my workouts and I still like my vegetables and data and no one you know, died as a result of me having a hot toddy. And you know, I don’t know, I’m trying to think of a Christmas cookie. I’m like about one. And those are my favorite kind of emails and reports to get I’m like, wow, I am at that place where I’m like, alright, we can just kind of do this, like this is just a lifestyle and figuring out what that looks like for you. And truly, I think I encourage all of you to think about your older self. And really what you would say looking back, if you were like your grandma, if you are your own grandma looking back at you right now, what would you say to you about, you know, your weight and body fat, whatever, like, all right, you know, enjoy life a little bit. And don’t worry about stop stressing over last 20 pounds, or whatever it is. Or maybe if you do, you know, could stand to be healthier, and lose about 50 pounds or something like alright, well, you know, continue the moderation and enjoying life in that way, like pursuing fat loss is fine. Because then maybe again, like, you know, you will get to a healthier spot. But then decide when enough is enough, you know, there’s got to be, don’t keep moving the finish line, when the marker keeps moving. That’s when it’s just like, alright, it can become obsessive, it can become, you know, even if it’s not obsessive, like I do think it would just be unhealthy and a bad example for me at this point, to be trying to pursue that same body fat percentage that I was, you know, pre wedding and whatnot, because what would I be demonstrating to my family to get to that? I would have to be like, almost like I said, almost never having treats with them. I’d have to be eating super clean foods all the time. So for going like pizza, it’s and then it’s showing them like, Well, mom doesn’t eat that food. Like that kind of gives that diet culture mentality. Like Well, mom’s on a diet. Like for what to what and so decide where enough’s enough for you. And then enjoy that middle road. I love that I truly love and enjoy like the being. I know right now I’m recording this very pregnant, and then I’ll be postpartum soon. But I love that like, sweet spot after that, that hopefully I’ll be in too soon. Where it’s like all right, I am 4% out From where I was when I got married but we are having a good time and we are, you know enjoying life but still fit and still healthy and that’s where I like to be. So this is not the body builder podcast this is healthy Catholic moms podcast so you can get on board a little more moderation. Alright ladies, thank you for joining me and listening to me possibly blather on about that today. Just really passionate about that and was talking about that with a friend recently too. Next podcast episode. Going to be a quick down and dirty one for you. It’s five tips for fitting in exercise in the busy holiday season. So tune in for that and I’ll talk to you then have a great rest of your day.

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